I don't know what I want...

I don’t know what I want.

Not in life, in a career or anything existentially but personally.

I don’t know what I want.

I want to be revered and respected yet loved and adored. Seen as a god and yet seen as a good man.

I don’t know what I want.

I want a girlfriend and yet I feel like in order to improve and grow I must cut myself off.

I don’t know what I want.

Do I want fame, money or power? Or do I want glory and eudemonia?

I don’t know what I want.

Time plays a game...

 

They say that time heals, and I know that it’s true.

But with you time is playing a game.

Year 2, term 1 of uni, 5 weeks in and I’m literally kissing you, the world is complete.

Now it’s week 11 and we are pretending we don’t know each other.

Time is supposed to heal but every time I see you in lecture it hurts.

Us, from nothing, to everything, to nothing all in the space of a month.

That is the game that time plays.

In order to heal I must let time pass.

But on its way time will strike me with you.

In order to move on I must see you every week and relive our time together.

Time plays a game.

Time always wins, we can only hope to win alongside it.