Emotional intelligence: a curse?
What is emotional intelligence (EQ)? The ability to understand and use your own (and others) emotional state.
Your emotional reaction to events is not dependent on your EQ (demonstrated by psychopaths who can manipulate and control emotion) but dependent on your ‘sensitivity’. Sensitivity is how you respond to events both internal (e.g., stress) and external (e.g., other peoples stress).
You can have one without the other.
EQ is not a curse and never is. It is never a bad thing to understand the emotions of yourself and others, it makes you aware and capable. Sensitivity (high) can be a curse. Being easily influenced and emotionally reactive to events (when you may not need to be) can lead to poor emotional regulation, caring too much about silly things, and constant anxiety of your own actions. Constant fear of the consequences of your actions is not helpful to anyone.
There is no need to regulate your EQ, there is a need to regulate your sensitivity. Being strategically sensitive is the goal. Knowing how and when to deploy sensitivity rather than having it constantly switched on is better than always being at high alert.
For example, feeling bad because you didn’t say thank you to the guy holding the door for you is sensitivity unnecessarily deployed. An emotional reaction is not required. Just move on. But, if your girlfriend is crying, you might want to be sensitive and deploy your emotional intelligence. Might help out.
Always keep and develop your EQ. Be strategic with your deployment of your sensitivity.
Add comment
Comments