The pursuit of better... 05/12/2024

How can one learn to be kind to themselves and look after their mental health and also be relentless and driven in the pursuit of their goals?

Why answer the question?

Because I am incredibly ambitious and driven but I have let this consume me and negatively control my life. I am now learning the importance of good mental health and this and being kind to yourself is actually beneficial. I want to learn how to be ambitious and driven whilst also having good mental health.

Why do I need to go through this change?

I had let self-loathing and anger fuel me; my motivation was proving myself to others. I did nothing for myself and felt no sense of pride or achievement when I succeeded in something. I also had no self-confidence and inner strength. My mental health was absolutely appalling and was sending me into a cycle of destruction. I was not happy or satisfied with life.

Why was it like this?

This will be discussed in a separate blog.

How will the change help?

Improving my mental health (by achieving self-pride, confidence, and greater happiness in life) benefits me in several ways:

1. Internal motivation rather than external: Doing things for myself and not just others will make me happier, more motivated and more successful as a result. Pride in ones achievements keeps the achievements coming.
2. Better quality of life: Learning how to relax and be kind to myself will help me to enjoy life more and be satisfied with it.
3. I will become happier: Similar to point 2 but in this sense I will be happier with life overall. Happiness spreads and I am likely to become better liked by people and more enjoyable to be with. Happiness in life is never a bad thing.

How to achieve the balance:

• Keep the ambition and relentless pursuit of self-improvement.
• Learn to incorporate fun, relaxation and breaks.
• Internalise and keep hold of the reasons for finding the balance.

How to achieve the balance in everyday life:

1. Identify your goals and be clear and specific with them.
2. Work out an easy, practical process of achieving them. What needs to be done?
3. Be strategic with your time. Set out clear times to work on the process of achieving your goals and be disciplined in sticking to them. Create yourself a timeline.
4. Put in times for fun and relaxation. Be as clear and strategic with this as you are with your work. Identify what you find fun and relaxing and make time for it around everything else.
5. Remember you can’t work all day every day, step 4 is important!!!
6. Be accountable. Be disciplined from the start and hold yourself accountable for disrupting the balance either way. Keep checking in with yourself e.g., ‘am I working too much or too little?’, ‘have I scheduled in time for fun this week?’, ‘am I on the right track to achieve my goals?’.

By creating yourself clear goals and a clear way of achieving them you are able to be successful in life and be more satisfied with it.

Identify what you want, identify how you will achieve it and identify how you will make life fun.